Bike Rides

I love to ride bikes at night.  Right when the sun is setting and the weather is getting cooler.  Put on a shorts and hooded sweatshirt and the journey starts....   The combination of it all makes me so happy. I remember back to after my accident.  Its hard to explain but become a "paraplegic" changed a lot of my identity.  I was adventurous before my accident.  But I remember sitting in my wheelchair one night looking at the sky and thinking how was I ever going to be adventurous again.  The answer I concluded was that I wasn't going to be.  And with that thought a huge part of me died. Part of who I was died.  Not only was I no longer a tumbler, but I felt no longer the adventurous person either.   I didn't know who I was apart from being active and adventurous.  Yet, as I slowly regained movement the pieces of who I once was started to be put back together.  I've realized since then that my identity is rooted in Christ.  But in saying that God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him.  Being adventurous and active allow me to see God's beauty and find joy in those things.  Those are the things that satisfy me.  So reclaiming that part of my life was critical to me in order to feel like I was bringing glory to God.   I remember the night my mom took me to Wal-Mart. She told me that grandpa had wanted to get me a gift to encourage me with my progress.  She said she wanted me to try to ride a bike again.  My first thought was, year right!  I barely have balance standing on two legs much less on a bike.  My ankle has little mobility I didn't believe it was possible.  So here is my mom and I in the middle of Walmart.  Together we are trying to figure out how I can even get on a bike.  I couldn't lift my leg over the bike....so instead we slid the bike between my legs.  Ok, now being on a bike is one thing....starting to move is another.  I was determined that there was no way I had the balance to start peddling and keep the bike upright.  So there we were in Walmart and my mom is holding the bike like you would for a kid who just got rid of training wheels and I'm holding on to the shelves in the aisle to help me stay upright. I'm sure to anyone watching it was a funny sight to see a 21 year old with her mom trying to ride a bike in Walmart.  Needless to say after many tries with mom holding on I completed one pedal around without her helping and me holding on....it was only one revolution before I freaked out and grabbed the side shelving again.  But it was me "pedaling" without assistance. Enough for mom to cheer so loud for the whole store to see and me to be so embarrassed from riding a bike at age 21.  But you know what.....it was something I never thought I'd get to do again in life.  And slowly from that time in Walmart I began to fall in love with bike riding.   Because bike riding meant freedom to me.  And slowly a part of my identity was returning.  Rather a way for me to see the beauty of the world and give God praise for his glory was returning.

Maybe that's why I love to ride my bike so much.  It's freedom to me.  It's my mode to see the world and be active at the same time. I love adventure.  I love feeling active.  I have my mom to thank for that. Yet fast forward 11 years after Walmart to tonight.  Riding a bike tonight was fun.  You can go wherever you want on a bike and explore new areas easily.  I take my bike downtown Chicago and ride all around Lake Michigan.  For me it's healing...to ride a bike next to the same lake that I stared out a hospital window at for 4 months and only dreamed of being like the people I saw from afar.   It's funny how people look at me now and even just today a friend said they saw a car with bike rack and thought of me.  It's become a part of me again and that makes me so happy.

Yet, Sometimes when I'm riding a bike, I wish I had someone like her...someone daring, adventurous, and active.  Sometimes I wonder if God has a guy like that in my future.  I don't need someone super athletic....but I desire someone who can be adventurous.  Even if it's just on a bike.  Someone who will be willing to go places and seek beauty.  Life is like bike right?  No matter what you have to keep peddling and moving forward.  I'm still journeying through life....doing so on a bike from time to time just makes it a little more adventurous. :)