Sometimes life reminds us of the obvious...today I was driving home from school and these two lights came on. While I know that these were reminds for my car, I think God was sending me a life reminder. Not that I actually needed one. I'm very aware that my life is being held together by band-aids right now....I'm also very aware that I'm low on energy....and I'm also very aware that I need to check my heart condition. It's just been one of those weeks. Actually, few weeks. One of those valleys in life where I feel like a failure at everything. I feel like a terrible teacher, friend, sister, and daughter. I've just struggled to believe and see the good in life lately. Yet, in the mist of it all God still offers me grace in the form of small moments in teaching where I see hearts being changed. I see students offering forgiveness on their own, students giving kindness to others, and behaviors being slowly changed. And while life isn't maybe ideal right now, I'm clinging to the one thing I do feel good at....caring for the hearts of others. The ability to love and care for the spiritual needs of others.
So when I drove home from work today, I prayed this: "God grant me the ability to exhaust myself in loving and caring for others and trusting that you will renew me and refuel me for what I need to accomplish the next day. Allow me to take care of my heart so that I can be a vessel of hope in other's hearts."
A minute after I prayed this, my car ran out of gas........JK! No actually, I heard this song for the first time. The lyrics of this song were the words I simply didn't seem to have. My heart's hurting and I need find hope in daily living again. I need to get back up, let the shadows fall away, and step back into grace. I need to let my heart beat again.
