New Year...New Resolve

I'm not one who usually sets a lot of goals each New Years. Sure, I like to reflect on the past year, but I've never been the one to say I'm going to do this, this, and this. But this year, I feel like the last few years have been sluggish years and I want this year to be the year where I really enjoy life and live life. That I bring energy to life and that life doesn't drain energy from me. I want my goals to be attainable. So small simple goals is what I'm hoping to achieve this year.

I want to:

-use reusable grocery bags at the store
-memorize verses weekly
-allow myself to buy one new clothing item every other month
-meet with a financial advisor to start additional saving investments
-Start looking for houses
-look into maybe going on a missions trip this summer
- encourage one person every day via email, letter, verbally, text, etc.
- buy only items that provide my body with nutrients and are beneficial
- walk on the treadmill 3 days a week (in addition to other cardio)
-be more assertive in overall areas of life (friendships, socially, professionally, etc)
-fast once a week
- work towards possibly doing a marathon distance (on elliptical of course)
-call dad at least once every two weeks
-stretch everyother night at min.
-eat more veggies

Christmas 2011

Merry Christmas!

Brave

My friend and I have this saying......it's something that we use to tell each other in college..... We would say to each other to "be a brave lil solider" whenever we were scared/intimidated of something....

Brave….

Do you ever have one of those times when you try to keep it together but as soon as you leave somewhere or see someone close to you, you lose it? Today, I had one of those moments. A long story short, I’ve had 5 laser vein surgeries and more to come in the future. Supposedly I have broken valves in my legs that need to be “shut down” and rerouted to other veins. Well rightly so, one of my biggest fear is not being able to feel my legs. During the surgery, I’m awake for it all, but they numb your leg while they insert the laser rod. The Dr. numbed my leg and started to prick the needle in my leg. While I knew that this numbing was only temporary, I laid on the chair struggling to keep myself composed. It wasn’t necessarily the pain but rather the emotional reminiscing. It brought me back to Sept. 20. It brought me back to the day that I was not able to feel my legs. I made it through the procedure and left her office. As soon as I got in my car I lost it….completely. I started bawling like a baby. I called my mom and just cried to her. I can’t explain why I was really even crying other than I don’t ever want to NOT feel a sensation on my leg (sharp, soft, or painful). I want to feel something/anything and not nothing. I was brave….so brave. While maybe I was acting like a kid in wishing I had my mama around and crying over some stupid needle that I got pricked with…..the truth is even big kids get scared and need to be brave.

Oh and if I ever have kids….I promise you I will not have an epidural that numbs your body….if my mom didn’t have one with twins, then I won’t either!!

Teaching

It’s been such a LONG time since I’ve sat down and written. My heart misses it. I just love writing. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s the reason I got my recent job. I talked up about how much I love teaching writing and feel like this new school needed someone who had experience working on a writing curriculum. Whatever may be it got me this new job. It’s hard to start over again at a new school. Feeling like the only person who doesn’t know how everything operates is a bit intimidating. On top of that, it’s a new staff of teachers who don’t know my story. But all in all, I am blessed to have a job again and things are going ok at the moment. I never really thought I’d end up working with low income-Title One students, but now my second year working in a low income school, I’ve come to realize the impact I can have on them. I’ve realized that these kids have such little support/if any at home. Today I ask a kid where his mom worked and he said Subway. She supports 3 kids on a Subway income. I asked another kid today if he had any brothers/sisters and he said that he was the only child. He said that his mom had other kids but that he thinks they died. He went on to tell me that she had an abortion but that he didn’t know what that meant. He asked me if I knew. I said yes, but told him that was something his mom would tell him when he got older. I went on to tell him that I was so glad that he was here and how lucky I was to have him in my classroom. I’ve become use to sending plastic bags of food home with kids every Friday so that their family has something to eat over the weekend. I’ve become use to students being taken out my class to have literally a dentist check up right outside my door. I’ve become use to kids asking me if we can take a field trip to somewhere via Google Earth because they have never seen outside of this area. And I’ve become use to these kids calling me mom mistakenly.
I don’t always enjoy my job. I haven’t always wanted to teach. I haven’t always felt called to teach. It’s tough and it takes everything out of me. But these kids make me look at my own life and feel so blessed at what I have.

Michigan 2011

THE FAMILY

Spending some quality family time at the beach.

Follow the Red Brick Road

You know what I love about Boston? Everything. Now, granted I was only there for four days and I was there with a tourist mindset that makes everything more glorious than it really is. I loved the history of the city, the architecture, the elaborate/beautiful churches on every corner, the free Boston Cream pie everyday, the harbor and boats, the really cheap fruit markets on corners, and the ease of the transit system. But what I loved most about Boston was simple….the red line. The red line? Yes, the red line. No I’m not referring to the train system, but rather to the red line of the Freedom Trail. Over 8 miles of the city is covered in either a red painted line or a line of red bricks. Follow this line and you will see every major site on the Freedom Trail. You see, every morning, I would take one step out of my hotel doors and I would be standing right on the red line. And everyday all I had to do was just follow the line. It was as simple as that….follow the red line. No maps needed, no tour guide needed to direct you which way. It was almost like that Fidelity commercial where the guy just follows the green carpet on where to go.

As I traveled around, I began to think about the red line. I wish my life had a red line to always follow. A path that requires no thinking, just following. Wouldn’t that be great.? You just wake up, get on the path, follow it, see the main attraction, turn around and follow the line straight back. It would cause clarity, it would provide direction. In many ways, I wished this line was apart of my everyday life.

But as the days went on, my mind set began to change. Every day, I’d get on the trail, only to realize that I’ve already seen the same things. Yes, staying on the path allowed me to get from A to B without any problems, but the more I took that path the more I thought, “Where is the adventure in this?”. One of my favorite quotes in life (and partially the motivation for taking the trip) is “Life is not a problem to be solved, but an adventure to be lived.” Staying on the path lacked adventure.

I think God taught me in a tangible way the benefits of taking the directed path at times and the problems with staying on the same path too long. My first lesson, came when I was on the Freedom Trail following the red line and was told by the concierge to visit this St. Patrick’s Cathedral. As I neared the location, I realized that it was about 2 blocks out from the Freedom Trail. I thought about not veering from the Trail and just staying on the Trail so that I would be sure to see all the main highlights. But in a last minute decision I walked the two blocks off the Freedom Trail. I deviated from the trail, but found in doing so I was able to experience the beauty of one of the most breathe taking cathedrals. Upon entering the cathedrals I was consumed by the sounds of a youth choir singing Christian songs and patriotic songs. I sat in the back of the cathedral and was emotionally and spiritually overwhelmed by the sound of the choir. Had I not deviated from the same path, I would not have had the experience that I did.

Yet, sometimes staying on the normal path can also have distractions. Take for example the one day that I was going to go down to the Harbor front to get on a whale watching tour. I left the hotel with plenty of time to get down there. While following the Red Freedom Trail line, I came across H&M the clothing store. Knowing that I had plenty of time to get to the Harbor front, I headed into H&M. Soon I returned to the path and made my way to the Harbor. When I got in line to buy my whale watching ticket the lady at the counter informed me that they had just sold the last ticket about 10 min. ago. Sure I had made it in plenty of time to get on the boat, but I failed to think about getting the ticket ahead of time. Shopping had distracted me (that and the fact that Boston has no tax on clothes which made it that much more appealing) . Had I not gone in, I would have been on a spectacular whale watching tour. Isn’t life like that. You get side tracked from the mission God has for you and then you miss what could have been. In such a tangible way, I was reminded the best path in life is the straight and narrow. When you become distracted by materialism or things of this world it often comes with disappointment.
God doesn’t just give us one road. He gives us choices in life that all have different paths. Sometimes when we veer from the path, we become distracted and miss something that could have been greater. Other times when we veer from the path, we see greater things than we could have if we stayed on the same path.

I’ve learned a lot of things about myself on this trip. One of the reasons why I love to travel. If there was any lesson to be learned on this trip it was to keep your eyes focused straight ahead towards the goal letting nothing distract you from your mission. But realizing that not all roads are straight and when it comes time to turn or go in a new direction....take the risk, you may end up seeing something you never expected.

Newspaper Article

While judging Nationals in Charleston, W.V. a reporter came up to me to ask me some questions about the sport. As I began telling her about the sport, my story and history in the sport came up. Later that day she called me saying that she had "stalked" me out and gotten my phone number and that her editor really thought I had an interesting story and they wanted to do a story on me. So one thing led to another and an article was published. While the article is very factual, I cannot tell my story without giving credit to the one who has healed, mended, and provided for my every step...Jesus Christ. To Him be the Glory....

http://www.dailymail.com/News/201106211205