Saturday, January 22, 2011

Through the Eyes of a Child

This week our journal writing topic one day was "Who is your favorite superhero and why?" One of the little girls in my class has a tender place in my heart this year. Her mom told me at the Christmas concert that she doesn't thank the Lord for her mom anymore, rather she thanks Him for her teacher. This student lives with just her mom in a very low income housing area. Like the majority of my kids who come from very low income/single parent homes, I am their source of encouragement, the person who believes in them, and the person who in many cases takes care of them away from home. When I saw her write this in her journal, it was such a tangible reminder to me of what really matters in life. (Remember this is a 6 year old). I was having a rough week just feeling like I was an ineffective teacher and I felt like the kids weren't progressing the way they should and I was honestly just not in a good place in life mentally myself. When I saw her writing this, I was taken back. Her two simple sentences and picture reminded me of why I'm where I am and the purpose that my life holds. I may not be what I could be, I may not even be what I should be, but I am not what I was because Jesus died on a cross to save me. How freeing.

"My favorite superhero is God because he saved us. He died on the cross."

Monday, January 17, 2011

Drawing Inspiration

This week there was a story that came out that honestly captured me in so many ways. It is a story that I can relate to on such a personal level, but also a story that has caused me to do a lot of thinking about my own life and purpose. I am a sports fan.....ok, not just a sports fan, but a Die Hard, never miss a BEARS or ILLINI game type of girl. So Sunday night, after the Jets had won the playoff game, I read a story about there team. It was a story that I couldn't help but feel some how connected to if only for the fact that I myself could relate. About ten years ago a guy named Dennis Byrd was an up and coming football player for the Jets when one hit in a football game gave him a spinal cord injury resulting in paralysis. One second he was this active guy who's life revolved around being active and playing sports and within a second all of that was done. He would never return to the field as an active player again.

Flash forward to the Jets vs. Patriots game this weekend. Byrd is invited to talk to the Jet's team on Sat. night at the hotel. His simple message was this...you never know when things will come to an end, so live/play with a passion and intensity that you can say you gave it your all. Lot's of people/players give motivational speeches. To most of the football players this probably wasn't anything new. Yet this time, Byrd's speech resonated in the hearts of every player. In fact, Braylen Edwards said that he has never been so inspired by someone in his life. Prior to his speech, Byrd sent the jersey that had been cut off of him to the Jets. During game day on Sunday, Edwards carried the jersey on the field to the coin toss. There was a time during the game when Edwards caught the ball on the one yard line and two pro-bowlers grabbed his ankle to bring him down before reaching the end zone. Edwards literally drags both guys with him into the end zone. When asked later in the post game interview how he was able to drag himself into the end zone, he simply stated that his mind thought of Dennis Byrd and how Byrd only wished for one more play in life. That was the fuel that Edwards needed to make a touchdown. The inspiration and spirit of one man changed a team. Changed players.

This story resonates so deeply with me for so many reasons. First, Byrd is like me in that we are so blessed to be walking again, despite limps. Yet Byrd also mentioned in a piece that he hasn't been back to Jet's field in 18 years, because the effects of a SCI (spinal cord injury) go so much deeper than the outward physical. The mental side of SCI's often prove to be so much harder to handle. I myself can a test to that. In fact, Byrd said it best "The fact is, I'm still competing"...refering to an inward battle that SCI patients face everyday.

I often have people who hear my story or find out about me and tell me that I'm such an inspiration. I remember going on a missions trip in college and wondering what purpose I would serve on the team. At the end of the trip the missionary thanked me for coming because he believed that God sent me on that trip to be an inspiration to him and someone he would always be reminded of. While I was appreciative of his thoughts, it just didn't seem like me just being me was inspiring and I struggled to believe that inspiring someone was enough. Maybe because bringing inspiration to someones life causes an inward change in them that remains hidden to the outside world sometimes.

Reflecting on this football story and my story, I am maybe beginning to see that being someone who inspires someone isn't about the visual changes you can see in a person. We live in such a visual society that we often associate change with the outward/physical change. Yet as I looked at this story, I realized that when you are given the gift to inspire (either by choice or not) you have to embrace it and realize that inspiring people is more about bringing an inward change within someone. That you bring hope to people, something that cannot be measured in a visual/physical world. Maybe that's where I feel so connected to this story. It took one man who had an accident 18 years ago to give hope to a team. Inspiration is a catullus for people to look at, believe in, and hope for. While, Byrd inspiration gave hope to a team, it also allowed them to believe and ultimately win the game.

I too have to believe that even though I often don't feel like my life makes sense, that my life story will inspire people. That they will see within me a hope. A hope that isn't defined by worldly goals, but a hope within me that comes from knowing Jesus. In fact, I asked my mom if she would find the box of old leotards that I use to wear and I asked her if she could find the leotard that was cut off of me in my accident. She found the leo and I asked her to send it to me. I want to hang up the leotard, not for prideful/boastful reasons at all.....but because I want it to be a daily tangible reminder to me to make each day count. I want it to inspire me to run this race with perseverance knowing that my hope is in spending eternity in heaven where cut leotards/jerseys will be stitched back perfectly and made whole again.

ESPN story link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUO0tNTQxsY

http://sports.espn.go.com/new-york/nfl/news/story?id=6026411&campaign=rss&source=NFLHeadlines