Miami

Hanging out in Miami! This past week I went down to Miami to spend time with Andy who was on business trip down there. While I spent a lot of time just relaxing in the sun at the hotel, we did manage to go downtown Miami one night. The weather was great! I realized I never actually got a picture of Andy and I while in Miami....

I found a MANATEE while exploring the area!
Of course I had to take a picture next to it. LOOK A MANATEE!! (LL and KL) ;)

The lagoon and Miami Airport


One of the coolest and oldest trees ever at

BAYSIDE marketplace downtown Miami

Transformation

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Rom. 12:1-2

Ever have days where you aren’t really looking to “hear” from Jesus, but rather are just set out to go about your planned day. Today was one of those days for me. It started like any other day. I woke up worked out, drove to the gym and worked out more, and then decided I would go spend a little time with my grandma who is in a nursing rehab center. I went and found grandma in the dining hall just finishing her breakfast. I talked with her for awhile and then she said, “Ang, could you take me outside where it’s sunny and warm?” (she is worse than I am when it comes to being cold these days….she wore a winter sweater and at 9am it was already 80 out and she was still cold :) ). So together we sat outside in the hot morning sun doing nothing but sitting and talking about life. As I looked at her and had been observing her all morning I noticed how kind and gentle her words had been to others this morning (complimenting everyone’s outfit, smiling, and joyful). In fact, as I sat with her this morning there was one word that came to my mind. Transformation. I’m not sure I have ever seen my grandma this kind and joyful towards others than today. I know that she doesn’t want to be here and that her longing desire is to return home and walk, but when I sat with grandma this morning I saw a heart that has become softened…..perhaps transformed.
This precious time with my grandma this morning has brought so much thought to my life today. In fact, it’s consumed my thoughts in so many ways. Tonight, even though it’s a Friday night, I find myself wanting to do nothing else than to reflect on my life and how God is and has been transforming my mind.

Tonight, it really hit me. Everything was brought to light tonight. Transformation is an on going process in our life, but tonight God is showing me in such a tangible way how he has transformed and continues to transform my life. As my life journey continues, I so often feel like I’m the same person that I was a year ago or two years ago. It’s frustrating because I want my life to change now and I think so often that transformation means a huge change in life that is visible for everyone to see. That’s not what transformation is about. Transformation is about letting God take you where you are at now and allowing him to have control of your mind and thoughts, so that your actions become more Christ like.

The last two months have been so good for me. Not just because it’s summer (which has such a HUGE impact on my mental attitude), but because I’m learning how to let Christ transform me, even if it’s not what my human flesh wants.

Let me be specific about how God has and is transforming my life:

1. This past spring I was asked to babysit again this summer. I wanted to take the job so bad because I knew it was easy, but more because I knew it would bring a little more sense of financial security to my life, when I knew that I was going to be unemployed. I went back and forth for so long and finally yielded to the fact that God was telling me that my security wasn’t in money. I said no to the job, because in the back of my mind was this little thought that continued to say “there are people who are going to need your time and attention this summer and I want that to be your focus.”

Transformation: Old Me: My mind wanted financial security
Lord: Lord renewed my mind and told me to seek relationships.
New Me: I choose that path and today with my grandma was God’s confirmation that I too was being transformed.

2. Two years ago, I went through a really hard break up. It was maybe one of the hardest things I’ve ever let go of. Right after, I closed myself off. I had no emotions and no feelings. I couldn’t feel joy. I didn’t feel pain. I was completely numb. To be unable to feel good or bad is in essence to feel dead to the world. I prayed that the Lord would take my numb mind and bring back emotions/feelings and allow me to give love/joy to others once again. Fast forward to a few months ago, when I had all these feelings and once again actually was feeling joy and pain. Instead of I realized that emotions are a blessing from the lord. I needed to embrace whatever it was I was feeling and let my emotions have a voice and let them be known. I could have become bitter and decided not to give again, but I stood straight in the pain of past hurt and I let the soil on which I now stand become richer so that I am able to give more life to the seeds on which I give now.

Transformation: Old Me: Was emotionally numb and unable nor willing to love/encourage others
Lord: Brings someone into my life and with it a flood of emotions. God gives me a second chance to give emotionally uplifting words and feelings to someone
New Me: Embracing emotions and attempting to express thoughts freely to others while being able to feel alive to joy/pain/sorrow/emotions

3. Jan 1., 2010: I want to life fearlessly Lord. I want to be bold in my decisions. These were the exact words that I wrote in my journal for what I want to work towards this year. Half way through the year I can honestly say that that Lord has and still is transforming my mind to think differently and live differently. I’m learning more and more to be bold in my actions and every time the Lord faithfully rewards my actions. My next prayer is that the Lord allows me to be bold enough in making a decision on where I should move to or go. And with that, that the Lord will give affirmation in that decision through the words, actions, and people that he brings into my life. That if I choose to uproot and leave that the new soil would be richer.

Transformation: Old Me: Content to live in safety of a convenient, well known, and partially established place and lifestyle.
Lord: Directs me to a new place/job that will ultimately allow me to give/serve others
New Me: TBD :) Are you bold enough Ang to trust?

This is such a long post that ultimately can be summed up in this:

I love that I have chosen to enter into the presence of Jesus just as I am and have asked him to give me a fearless heart where he can be with me.

Sitting in the sun this morning, watching and talking with my grandma, allowed me to see this person who is coming near to the end of her life, and yet the Lord continues to transform her mind. Clearly if she could have done that years ago she would have, but it leads me to believe and know this:

You (I) cannot make myself different. Jesus came to give you (I) a new heart, a new spirit, a new mind, and a new body.

Ang, let him continue to transform you by his love and so enabling you to receive his affection for you in your whole being.

Another Record Set

Tracy's Wedding

TRACY'S WEDDING

This weekend I had the privilege of standing up and being a bridesmaid for my good friend Tracy. Tracy and I met at college, but our friendship has really gotten deeper since college. She is such a blessing in my life and I honestly am so grateful to have a friend like her. Congratulations Tracy and Josh!

BRIDESMAID LUNCHEON

On Friday morning, all of Tracy's bridesmaids met up in Warsaw, In and had a luncheon together. It was such a great way to actually spend time together without all the hassle that surrounds a wedding.

The moms and bridesmaids and Tracy

Ang, Katie, Tracy

L-dog and ABo

DECORATING THE RECEPTION DEPOT

Friday afternoon we all went to the Train Depot and decorated the place. It was such a cool place for a wedding. The building was an old train depot and had a lot of character to it. The colors and the place settings looked so great! All of the bridesmaids even had special made t-shirts that matched her colors!

Jess, Ang, Laura, Katie (ignore the shoes...lol)

REHEARSAL

Ok, well this isn't quiet the rehearsal, but someone took this picture of me as we were headed to the rehearsal and it makes me laugh, because it's such a typical picture of me. Cheeze-it's and PB somehow always can be found in my car.

THE
WEDDING PARTY

It was a beautiful, hot day out for her wedding. The dresses looked so great on everyone and the color was perfect for summer. Tracy of course was stunning!

Katie, Tracy, Ang

My Favorite Girls and Best Friends.....which one's next???

My Family

Sometimes I forget how blessed I am to have such a loving family. When I look at a picture like this, it makes me smile, because I am reminded that I have such a wonderful family who loves Jesus.

E4 Record

This post is kind of just for myself, so that in the future I can be reminded of what my next goal needs to be set at. Ok, so most people know that I workout a lot. Some people take drugs to get high, well I workout to get that "high" feeling. Point of this post is that, I always workout for an hour and 5 min (cool down) at a time and I always know about how far I go and the calories I burn. Well previously the record was 6.4 mi. and 749 cal. but today I set out to break that record. I went 6.46 mi and burned 755 cal. in that one workout. Most people could probably crush this number, but for me it was a true milestone and felt like a huge accomplishment.

Memorial Day Getaway

This past week has been a very up and down week for me. It's been extremely busy, but more than the business of the past week, I've really felt like I have been under a lot of spiritual attack. This past week I struggled with feeling very alone and very forgotten. I know a lot of it had to do with moving everything out of my classroom all by myself and then not having a place to put it all, then attending a wedding all alone and not really knowing anyone, and then calling friends and never having them return my messages. On top of all of that my grandma was sent to the ER and is not doing well. I'm know a lot of my feelings emanated from a feeling of emptiness. This past week I felt so disconnected from Christ. In the midst of my self pity and loneliness I had disregarded Christ. Like I so often fail to do, I tried to take life on myself and failed. Sometimes I just think life is easier by yourself....but it's not......it will catch up with you like it did for me this week and bring you to a halt. That halt came to me this week when I was attempting to drag a large box of books into my apartment. As buff as I am (haha), I could not carry it, so I was dragging it slowly into my apt. It was steaming hot, I was sweating, I had no idea where it was going to go, when a bird flew overhead and pooped on the box. Completely frustrated and overwhelmed I stopped look up in the sky and surrendered "Ok, God, I get it. I fail without your help." Sometimes God is funny. I realized that I needed this weekend to reconnect with God. To find time to just enjoy who he is and be reminded of all that he has given me. In a week where I felt like everything was just coming to an end, I needed to be reminded that everything is just getting started. That however uncertain life is right now, that however much lack of conversation I've had with people I miss, that however little I know about the future, that he still is in control. So with that thought in mind, I left this weekend and went to my grandparents summer home on Lake Michigan. It's always been a place of solitude/reflection for me. It's a place where I can go and just be outside and seek the Lord without distractions.

I could write about what my heart thought about, but I think a simple picture walk may be all that's needed to really put into words how renewing this weekend was for me.

I've prayed for rest, and God provided a beach to rest upon (and a little suntan) ;)


It's not everyday that you witness a dear just a few feet from you. As I sat outside and read, this deer came out of the woods and hung around for awhile. I love how God meets us where we are at. I needed a tangible reminder of who God was and seeing this deer brought me to this passage:

Psalm 18:32-34 For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.

Psalm 111:2-4

2 Great are the works of the LORD; they are pondered by all who delight in them.
3 Glorious and majestic are his deeds, and his righteousness endures forever.
4 He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the LORD is gracious and compassionate.

Psalm 112:6-8

6 Surely [she] will never be shaken; a righteous [woman] will be remembered forever.
7 [She] will have no fear of bad news; [her] heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
8 [Her] heart is secure, [she] will have no fear; in the end [she] will look in triumph on his foes.

Isaiah 46:9-10
9 I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me.
10 I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.

I’m in the middle of reading a great book by John Piper and in it, it talks about becoming alive to life. I feel like that’s what this weekend did for me. I think this weekend helped me become alive to life. To wake up in the morning and be aware of the firmness of the mattress, the warmth of the sun’s rays, the sheer being of things. It helped me see what is there in the world—things that, if we didn’t have, we would pay a million dollars to have, but having them, ignore. It made me more alive to beauty.

This weekend, provided much rest, solitude, and many reminders that I am not alone, that I am not forgotten, that I am secure, that I need not fear, and that my heart will remain steadfast. God is good, all the time.