The past few weeks I have felt numb. I feel like I've just been going through the motions of life. Not really thinking or feeling. I've spent a lot of time on the road alone traveling and sometimes that's good, but sometimes the loneliness and weariness of it all causes me to become discouraged and even down. This week, I specifically prayed that God would somehow encourage me. For me, it's the small things in life that make me happy and really encourage me. Most of the time it's something that happens to someone else or is an encouragement in someone else's life that ultimately brings encouragement to my life. Sometimes I think it's because my life is so boring that I have to live the excitement in other's people's lives. But I think the reality and truth of it is that I truly am encouraged when the people that I love the most are being blessed so much. Ultimately, the joy that abounds in other's lives brings joy to my heart. So this week, I was intentional about asking the Lord to bring something encouraging to my heart each day. Yet again he delivered.
Mon: A friend tells me mothers cancer is 80% eradicated
Tues: I send a note home Monday saying how well this student has improved. Mother returns the note with this on it "Miss Boline, you have changed my child this year beyond what you know. I wish all my kids had you has a teacher." (He is a triplet and all in different classes)
Wed: A dear friend calls and tells me that she is pregnant and that I am now going to be "Aunt Ang"
Thurs.: My brother called just to say hi, see how I was doing, and to teach me 2 new guitar cords. The time he devoted to listening to me and teaching was priceless.
Fri.: My mom volunteers to drive with me to my judging meet and spend the night with me just to keep me company and so that I can work on report cards in the car while she drives.
Looking back over the week, I know that these subtle actions/words were God's way of quietly whispering encouragement into my heart. The things that encourage my heart aren't big things. They simply are words and actions said by others that were a reflection of the words/thoughts that God has for me. What power there is in knowing that one person's words and actions can bring such a renewed spirit to one person. Man, if there's one thing I know for sure...it's that the love of the Lord endures. Blessings.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
A Snow Day in the Life of Angie Boline
A Snow Day in the Life of Angie Boline
-Wake up @ 4:50 (unaware that it’s going to be a snowday)
-Workout for an hour
-Go lift weights
-Go to the grocery store
-Comes home and makes CCP’s!
-Grade papers
-Take a 45 min. nap
-Eat puppy chow (lots of it)
-Attempt to play guitar (I currently know 2 notes)
-Work on resume
-Read a book-(after reading future summer plans given extra inspiration)
-Update blog
- Put together a really really fun V-Day package for friends
-Boredom sets in so I surf the web- and almost did something crazy~Almost bought ILLINI tickets to this Sunday’s Ohio State game!! (My rational side got the best of me and I’m going to wait to buy them to see if other person can even go!)
-Get in a cleaning mood-Ang starts vacuuming to her most recent favorite song “I JUST HAVEN’T MET YOU YET” by MICHAEL BUBLE! (that was the extent to cleaning)
-Ang makes a fun V-Day Cd for a friend
-Ang get’s hungry and makes herself a taco at 3:30 in the afternoon (cause I can…and I’m not a big lunch fan)
-Reads a little and thinks (blog post coming soon of current life thoughts)
-Ang attempts to work on her school website, but it’s been too long and forgets how…..save that for later
-Ang sits on couch and journals and thinks…..only to realize that her thoughts were sad so she says forget that (don’t always like confronting emotions)
-Goes to post office to mail fun package
-Heads back to the Rec Center to watch ILLINI basketball
-Stays at Rec center and watches Biggest Loser (soo much working out!) :)
-Makes sub plans for next day
-Reads a little
-Goes to bed and considers it a GREAT DAY!
These type of days are just so wonderful.....it's like a rest stop on a long trip.
-Wake up @ 4:50 (unaware that it’s going to be a snowday)
-Workout for an hour
-Go lift weights
-Go to the grocery store
-Comes home and makes CCP’s!
-Grade papers
-Take a 45 min. nap
-Eat puppy chow (lots of it)
-Attempt to play guitar (I currently know 2 notes)
-Work on resume
-Read a book-(after reading future summer plans given extra inspiration)
-Update blog
- Put together a really really fun V-Day package for friends
-Boredom sets in so I surf the web- and almost did something crazy~Almost bought ILLINI tickets to this Sunday’s Ohio State game!! (My rational side got the best of me and I’m going to wait to buy them to see if other person can even go!)
-Get in a cleaning mood-Ang starts vacuuming to her most recent favorite song “I JUST HAVEN’T MET YOU YET” by MICHAEL BUBLE! (that was the extent to cleaning)
-Ang makes a fun V-Day Cd for a friend
-Ang get’s hungry and makes herself a taco at 3:30 in the afternoon (cause I can…and I’m not a big lunch fan)
-Reads a little and thinks (blog post coming soon of current life thoughts)
-Ang attempts to work on her school website, but it’s been too long and forgets how…..save that for later
-Ang sits on couch and journals and thinks…..only to realize that her thoughts were sad so she says forget that (don’t always like confronting emotions)
-Goes to post office to mail fun package
-Heads back to the Rec Center to watch ILLINI basketball
-Stays at Rec center and watches Biggest Loser (soo much working out!) :)
-Makes sub plans for next day
-Reads a little
-Goes to bed and considers it a GREAT DAY!
These type of days are just so wonderful.....it's like a rest stop on a long trip.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
PART III: Faith
4 Friends see a way for a paralyzed man to be healed and they take the opportunity. They could have waited for Jesus to come again some other time, but no...they took action today.
Jesus sees this faith in action (Luke 5:20) and responds. Two things kind of went through my head when hearing this passage. First, I marvel at the dedication of this mans friends. These friends loved this lame man so much that they did everything they could, eventually resulting in finding a roof to lower him through, just so that he would be near the Lord. Wow, what what friends this man has. I've thought about what type of friend I am to others and realize I am nowhere as faithful as these men were to their friend. This passage challenged me to really be a better friend to others. Sometimes it's hard to be a faithful friend when the effort doesn't seem appreciated or the friendship doesn't seem to be reciprocated. Yet, this story reminded me that friendship isn't about what you get out of it....it's about what you give to others that allows them to be closer to Jesus and to feel his love surround them. That's what these men did. They put their faith in action despite the crowds, the extra time it took, and the seemingly impossible to make a way for their friend to be near Jesus.
The second thing that I took from this passage was simply this:
Jesus ALWAYS responds to faith. In his time and his way. How comforting.
Jesus sees this faith in action (Luke 5:20) and responds. Two things kind of went through my head when hearing this passage. First, I marvel at the dedication of this mans friends. These friends loved this lame man so much that they did everything they could, eventually resulting in finding a roof to lower him through, just so that he would be near the Lord. Wow, what what friends this man has. I've thought about what type of friend I am to others and realize I am nowhere as faithful as these men were to their friend. This passage challenged me to really be a better friend to others. Sometimes it's hard to be a faithful friend when the effort doesn't seem appreciated or the friendship doesn't seem to be reciprocated. Yet, this story reminded me that friendship isn't about what you get out of it....it's about what you give to others that allows them to be closer to Jesus and to feel his love surround them. That's what these men did. They put their faith in action despite the crowds, the extra time it took, and the seemingly impossible to make a way for their friend to be near Jesus.
The second thing that I took from this passage was simply this:
Jesus ALWAYS responds to faith. In his time and his way. How comforting.
Friday, February 5, 2010
PART II: Hope
PART II: Hope
The thing about this story is that I have been that man laying on a mat unable to move. So when I read this story, I understand what this man probably had been through, the years of pain, the questions that probably ran through his mind, the despair, the years of slowly accepting his circumstances. This week though, I couldn’t help but think about how he felt the moment his friends started lowering him towards Jesus. Maybe, for the first time in years (Bible doesn’s say how long it had been) he had a new sense of hope. As time had gone on, his sense of hope had probably diminished. Now at this moment, he was feet away from the Healer. What a renewed feeling he must have had at that very moment. Hope renewed. While, I don’t know what was going through his mind, I do remember a time that I myself was in a very similar situation. It had been 10 days since my accident. The top rehab hospital in the world didn’t have room for me. I was almost turned away, when I got a phone late that night saying a bed had just opened up but I had to be in Chicago at the hospital by 7 am the next morning (that was 10 hrs. away). Somehow an ambulance was available to transfer me that next morning. Hope renewed. Then upon arriving at this foreign scary place, surrounded by paraplegics, quadriplegics, and amputees, I was carried in on a stretcher by the EMT’s. I was scared, humiliated to be associated with these people, and yet in the midst of being carried in by two EMT’s, I looked up at the wall and there was Jesus. Not physically, but written on the wall was this Bible verse that echoed the voice of a paraplegic: “There is hope for a tree, if it is cut down, it will sprout again, and it’s new shoots will not fail…” Job 14:7-8. Hope renewed. Yeh, I’ve been that paraplegic that was lowered through the roof. I know the pure hope and joy that he felt at the moment, when he was so close to the one person who could heal him. Hope renewed.
These two words have been on my heart lately. So many things I hoped would have happened in my life already. That’s when I’ve realized that my hope is being built on far less that Christ this week (well more than just this week). I echo the voice of a friend “ So often I’ve made plans, held dear to dreams, prided myself on accomplishments, hoping these worldly pick me ups would cause peace. Reality of it is that they do not satisfy and I fall into a valley of despair until another hero/fix comes around. “ Oh how true this is of me. This story in Luke has made me really ask myself “Ang, what is your hope built upon?”
The thing about this story is that I have been that man laying on a mat unable to move. So when I read this story, I understand what this man probably had been through, the years of pain, the questions that probably ran through his mind, the despair, the years of slowly accepting his circumstances. This week though, I couldn’t help but think about how he felt the moment his friends started lowering him towards Jesus. Maybe, for the first time in years (Bible doesn’s say how long it had been) he had a new sense of hope. As time had gone on, his sense of hope had probably diminished. Now at this moment, he was feet away from the Healer. What a renewed feeling he must have had at that very moment. Hope renewed. While, I don’t know what was going through his mind, I do remember a time that I myself was in a very similar situation. It had been 10 days since my accident. The top rehab hospital in the world didn’t have room for me. I was almost turned away, when I got a phone late that night saying a bed had just opened up but I had to be in Chicago at the hospital by 7 am the next morning (that was 10 hrs. away). Somehow an ambulance was available to transfer me that next morning. Hope renewed. Then upon arriving at this foreign scary place, surrounded by paraplegics, quadriplegics, and amputees, I was carried in on a stretcher by the EMT’s. I was scared, humiliated to be associated with these people, and yet in the midst of being carried in by two EMT’s, I looked up at the wall and there was Jesus. Not physically, but written on the wall was this Bible verse that echoed the voice of a paraplegic: “There is hope for a tree, if it is cut down, it will sprout again, and it’s new shoots will not fail…” Job 14:7-8. Hope renewed. Yeh, I’ve been that paraplegic that was lowered through the roof. I know the pure hope and joy that he felt at the moment, when he was so close to the one person who could heal him. Hope renewed.
These two words have been on my heart lately. So many things I hoped would have happened in my life already. That’s when I’ve realized that my hope is being built on far less that Christ this week (well more than just this week). I echo the voice of a friend “ So often I’ve made plans, held dear to dreams, prided myself on accomplishments, hoping these worldly pick me ups would cause peace. Reality of it is that they do not satisfy and I fall into a valley of despair until another hero/fix comes around. “ Oh how true this is of me. This story in Luke has made me really ask myself “Ang, what is your hope built upon?”
Thursday, February 4, 2010
PART I: Healing
This past week in church, my pastor preached on Luke 5: 17-26. The story is of Jesus healing a paralytic. By nature, I over course have been drawn to this story before. Yet, this week I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this story and trying to bring meaning from it. I continue to be drawn to the healing, hope, and faith that this story brings.
PART 1: Healing:
I am often taken back by the way Jesus responds to different situations. In this passage particularly I am reminded of how Jesus knows my heart so much better than I do. This paralytic is lowered through a roof because he is need of being healed physically. That’s why his friends go out of their way to bring him to Jesus. And yet, the first thing Jesus says when he sees this man is “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” Your sins???? I bet at that moment, the paralytic’s eyebrows rose. I bet he was confused at that statement. What I love about Jesus response is that it shows who God is. It shows that first and for most God is a God who wants to heal us spiritually first. It shows that Jesus is all about healing hearts so that we can walk with him. How ironic is that….or maybe not. I needed to hear this message this week. For the past two weeks, I feel like my heart has been hurt. Current disappointments in my job and relationships have caused me to feel bitterness, sadness, prideful, and have caused me to withdraw from people. When I hurt, I tend to retreat to my own independent ways and isolate myself from people…..thinking that it’s better to live life alone and not get hurt than to depend on someone/thing and in the end get hurt. Looking at this story this week, I am so thankful for God’s grace. I’ve been where this paralytic is. I know how deep his desire is to be completely physically healed. The Lord does grant that. But when the Lord looks at this man, he first sees that he is paralyzed spiritually. The Lord sees that he is unable to feel. When I look at my own life, I know that being paralyzed by fear is far worse than being paralyzed physically. I also know what a far greater gift spiritual healing is than the physical healing that the Lord can provide in one’s life. So this week, I am specifically praying that the Lord would begin to heal me spiritually. That he would take the parts of my heart that hurt and that he too would say to me “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” What I love even more about this story, is that the when the Lord heals him this is his reaction”
“Immediately, he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said “We have seen remarkable things today.” Luke 5:25
Immediately after being healed spiritually and physically, you can see the joy in the man. Spiritually he has been healed and joy has ultimately been returned to his heart. The world sees it. That’s my prayer. That the Lord will continue to heal me and when he does that I will live my healed life in public, in a way in which others will see a life that has been made whole and want to live that life too. It may not happen overnight, but life is a journey…..a journey that is only just beginning.
PART 1: Healing:
I am often taken back by the way Jesus responds to different situations. In this passage particularly I am reminded of how Jesus knows my heart so much better than I do. This paralytic is lowered through a roof because he is need of being healed physically. That’s why his friends go out of their way to bring him to Jesus. And yet, the first thing Jesus says when he sees this man is “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” Your sins???? I bet at that moment, the paralytic’s eyebrows rose. I bet he was confused at that statement. What I love about Jesus response is that it shows who God is. It shows that first and for most God is a God who wants to heal us spiritually first. It shows that Jesus is all about healing hearts so that we can walk with him. How ironic is that….or maybe not. I needed to hear this message this week. For the past two weeks, I feel like my heart has been hurt. Current disappointments in my job and relationships have caused me to feel bitterness, sadness, prideful, and have caused me to withdraw from people. When I hurt, I tend to retreat to my own independent ways and isolate myself from people…..thinking that it’s better to live life alone and not get hurt than to depend on someone/thing and in the end get hurt. Looking at this story this week, I am so thankful for God’s grace. I’ve been where this paralytic is. I know how deep his desire is to be completely physically healed. The Lord does grant that. But when the Lord looks at this man, he first sees that he is paralyzed spiritually. The Lord sees that he is unable to feel. When I look at my own life, I know that being paralyzed by fear is far worse than being paralyzed physically. I also know what a far greater gift spiritual healing is than the physical healing that the Lord can provide in one’s life. So this week, I am specifically praying that the Lord would begin to heal me spiritually. That he would take the parts of my heart that hurt and that he too would say to me “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” What I love even more about this story, is that the when the Lord heals him this is his reaction”
“Immediately, he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said “We have seen remarkable things today.” Luke 5:25
Immediately after being healed spiritually and physically, you can see the joy in the man. Spiritually he has been healed and joy has ultimately been returned to his heart. The world sees it. That’s my prayer. That the Lord will continue to heal me and when he does that I will live my healed life in public, in a way in which others will see a life that has been made whole and want to live that life too. It may not happen overnight, but life is a journey…..a journey that is only just beginning.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)