Live without Regret

This week has been one of the hardest weeks I've had in a long time. For the first time in my life I felt like I had a clear direction on what the next step in my life should be and I acted on it. The only problem was that it was too late. Too late. Now, I have to live with the regret that I didn't act sooner. To love something so much and not be able to have it is the worst feeling in the world. Regret and what ifs will plague me for a long time to come. Admist the anguish that I have now, I have to once again trust that the Lord knows best and that I do not. It's just a hurt that may never go away......

Yet in the present suffering, there is a lesson to be learned: Let love never leave you. Open your heart to love full well knowing that you could get hurt...it will always be worth it. To not desire something is to kill your heart forever. Love with all your heart no matter what.

Bridal Shower

Cutting the Cake

Aunt Doris (the other hostess) and the love birds

The moms

The Hostesses

This past weekend, I was one of the hostess for a bridal shower for my brother's fiance, Julie. When I say hostess, what I really mean is that I made food for the shower. It was a great day so we had the shower outside. It's hard to believe that my twin brother will be married in a month.

Mini Golf

I would just like to pride myself here and say that tonight I got 2 Hole in One's. YES TWO!! I seriously had the best round of my life. Pretty much I'm a pro now. :)

Toyota Corolla

Well my car hit a bit milestone today.....100,000 miles. Surprisingly it's not had much done to it. Of course now that I say that it will probably die. What car should I get next? hmmm.....I've always said it would be a Malibu, Accord, or some midsize car like that. I really don't ask for much. Then again, I really have no plans at buying a new car for a few more years.....hopefully. And yes, I'm a dork and took a picture of it. I was attempting to stay on the road while taking a picture at the same time.....a bit dangerous.

Summer Vacation

School is finally out and that means it's time for summer vacation. I love summer more than anyone else in the world!

Here are the top 10 reasons why I love summer (in no particular order):

1. Fresh fruit is cheap and I LOVE fruit (pineapples, watermelon...mmmm)
2. I say this in the most unvainful way possible... I love to be tan
3. I love going for bike rides at like 8 at night and it's still light out
4. Beaches, boating, and sunbathing
5. It's actually really light out when I am working out really early in the morning
6. Grilling out!
7. Sitting on the back porch and watching Cubs games
8. Did I mention I don't have to work (well babysitting, but that's not work)
9. Summer is a perfect excuse to have ice cream almost every night
10. Kayaking...my recent passion

Red Raspberries

So, you know how there are some foods that you hated when you were younger and never will try them because you assume you still hate them. Well, the other day I tried a red raspberry. Now, growing up I hated them because I thought they were sour and they have like little hairs all over them. I also do not like preserves....but mainly it was the hairy part,...that grossed me out. Well, low and behold I tried one the other day and I LOVED it! It was soo good! I seriously kicked myself because for so many years now I have been missing out! Now I can add more more thing to the list of healthy foods that I eat! Yippee!

Between the Lines

Sometimes I find it hard to live between the lines of feeling grateful and yet still ungrateful. I of all people should be the most grateful person in the world. I was told I had the slimmest of margins that I would ever walk again....and yet I am. Grateful.....yes, yet I still become so ungrateful at times. I want more. I don't just want partial healing, I want complete healing. I want to be exactly the same as I was before the accident. The truth is, I'm not. So I daily straddle this fence of feeling so blessed and yet not blessed enough. I often feel guilty that I have these thoughts that the Lord didn't do enough for me. And then it hits me and it's like the Lord looks me straight in the eyes and says...... I died for you Ang.....you were not to live, but I died instead. Are you completely healed? No, but you are alive and free. The part of you that is still broken is only a daily reminder that you are in need of the Lord everyday. I read this verse this week and was blown away.

This is what the Lord says:
"Your wound is incurable,
your injury beyond healing.
There is no one to plead your cause,
no remedy for your sore,
no healing for you...
because your guilt is so great and your sins so many.
Why do you cry out over your wound,
your pain that has no cure?
But because of your great guilt and many sins
I have done these things to you.......
I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,
declares the Lord.
~Jeremiah 30:12-15; 17

Not, because of your lack of guilt and being sin free.....but because I do sin and have guilt he chose to heal.........I don't understand that.......all I can do is stand in awe and be reminded of the blessing and choose daily to be grateful for a life I was given that I don't even deserve.....broken or not broken.