Christmas 2009 Memories

Annual Chicago Trip

This past weekend, I met two of my friends downtown Chicago to do a little shopping and eating. We started off by eating at the Frango Cafe. Then we did a little shopping on State St. Before long, we were tired so we went to Starbucks and just sat there and talked for a few hours. You know who your closest friends are when you can sit down with them after not seeing them for a few months and still pick up right where you left off. I love that. After refueling, we searched out for a deep dish pizza place to eat. Sure enough we found Giordano's.

On Sunday, I went to church with Laura and the after lunch I ate at Walker Brothers with Andy and some of his friends. I of course had Chocolate Chip Pancakes (CCP's). My good friend Julie was in town so I got to talk with her for a few hours. And if that wasn't enough fun for a weekend, I spent the rest of Sunday with Andy going to a Christmas party. I must say, I really enjoy being with him. :)

On Monday, I headed to Clark St. to get all of the Swedish food for Christmas. It was a zoo and I had to wait 45 min. for my order, but it's kind of fun to talk to the other people waiting and compare how Swedish (percentage) we all are.

Dwell Richly

Tonight, I got to just sit in my own apartment and dwell. I feel like lately, I've loved the words "Dwell richly." Now I know that we are to dwell richly in the word of the Lord, but lately I've loved dwelling at home. This time of the year there always seems to be things to do, places to go, things to see. I'm gone so often or am working so much that I never get the chance to "dwell" at home. I don't live in a fabulous place, but what I have I cherish.

Lately, I've had this urge to move and have thought about looking into condo's. It really wasn't until this past weekend that I put discontent aside and really have cherished the dwelling place that I've been given for today. It's funny how it was a little over a year ago, that I posted about finally finding this apartment and how the Lord provided for it. Now a year later and I'm already thinking about moving. So this weekend, with a lot of help from my dear ole mother I rearranged/redecorated. Now, despite occasionally feelings of wanting bigger/better/more, I'm going to spend this time dwelling richly in the place that the Lord has given me for now. And I must say that it sure is a small cozy (cold...but cozy) place where I can find peace and contentment.

Chicks and Concert

Well this week had some highlights to it. First, on Tuesday my 3rd grade class had 11 chicks hatch! I honestly did not think any of them would hatch. Sure enough though all my long hours of coming in over the weekends to turn the eggs by hand paid off. :) They were chirping all day in class and it was so distracting. Kids were getting up out of their seats to "blow their nose" and look at the chicks all day. We did take them out and play with them one day. The students got to name the chicks.

I also went to the Michael W. Smith, Meredith Andrews, and Matt Maher concert in town this week. I haven't been to a concert in forever. It was a lot of fun. In fact, it may have been exactly what I needed this week.....a time of just pure worship. I really liked Matt Maher's new song "Alive Again." Check it out! :)

On the Go

I'm pretty sure I've been on the road traveling somewhere the past 5 weekends and it doesn't look like it's going to stop anytime soon with judging, the holidays, and seeing friends. This weekend, I was a little weary of driving from place to place and not being home to get my life organized. Yet sometimes it's in those moments of being so busy and on the go that I find the comfort of knowing that I can come weary to Jesus and he will sustain me. This weekend proved to be no exception. I was invited up to Chicago to hang out with some friends and while a part of me felt a bit overwhelmed with the amount of school work that needed to be done, I went anyways. I thought I would come home more exhausted, but I actually came home refreshed. I think it was a combination of a few things. 1. Driving- I am such a person who needs time to just reflect on life and driving gives me that time in the car to just think about life. Driving is my Jesus time. So for that reason, I'm thankful that I've had driving time lately, because there as been some sweet Jesus time. 2. Community-sometimes living alone fuels this selfishness that I tend to draw towards. This weekend I spent time with some incredible people who I barely even knew , that were so kind to me, and it was such an encouragement to my heart. 3. Safety- I live a safe life. I am not one who likes to step outside of my safe life. Yet, I've been challenged lately not live out of fear. As I was traveling back home this weekend, I was proud of myself that I had chosen to put the fear of the unknown aside and actually had enjoyed my time with new people. It may be a small step in this journey, but I've learned in life that a step of any kind forward is to be not taken for granted. Small steps are big steps in life....and because of that I feel renewed in life at this current moment.

If Only....

Ok, let me start by saying that this post may seem negative, which isn't my intention. Rather, the last two months have made me question so much about myself, my life, my strength, and where I'm at on this journey we call life. My thoughts have seemed to be filled with discontent lately. These two words (If only) seem to be the start of every thought......

If only my closest friends lived near by and could help me process through life
If only I had my old self back from this summer
If only school didn't consume my life
If only I had a church that I really felt apart of
If only I could eat healthy
If only I felt like I was an decent teacher
If only it wasn't getting cold out
If only I wasn't so independent
If only I didn't run from the things that scare me in life
If only I could write more letters to friends
If only I didn't get bitter
If only I had energy these days
If only I didn't have to fight for joy
If only Illini football was good
If only I got to see my brother more
If only I didn't live in a cold apt.
If only I let myself depend on others

This past week I've had so many if only thoughts.....sometimes I've felt selfish for feeling this these ways, sometimes I've felt I've taken my "neediness" to the wrong people, sometimes I've felt so un-confident in myself and my abilities, sometimes I've just felt life my life isn't going anywhere.

Yet, life is a journey.....hence the reason for this blog. I know life's not easy. The road has pot holes. I know myself well enough to know that when these thoughts start creeping up it's time to reevaluate before something worse happens. Sometimes it's good to go straight ahead towards the finish line. But sometimes you need rest stops. You need to take time to just rest. That's where I'm at. I need something/someone who will just tell me that life's ok and will just take the time to have a picnic with me at the rest stop :)

So at this moment in my life I'm at the rest stop. Trying to refuel my life before I head on. Colossians 2:6-8 states it best. "Continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." I need to rest, let my roots grow deeper and soak up some energy, I need to feel strengthened, I need to overflow with thankfulness. Only then will I be able to really move forward and live a life worthy and pleasing to the Lord. So that verse has become my prayer lately.

If only,,,,,

Illini Football Game

This weekend I was invited to an Illini football game. As big of a fan as I am, I had never been to a game. I was given the royal treatment. Our seats were in the Colonnade Club. We got to take an escorted elevator ride up to our seats and the bathrooms were sooo nice and had free football chocolate. We tailgated before and after the game, despite the cold weather. I even got to see Mike Davis walking on the street. They played terrible and lost, but it was still a great time!

Where shall I go?

So after 3 years I finally earned a free flight through my credit card. I guess it's a good thing it took me that long....shows I don't spend too much! :) I think I'm going to go for a short 3 day weekend in Jan. I'm also thinking I might surprise my mom and take her with me, since it's no fun to go alone. Not sure yet. The real motivation for wanting to go to Florida in Jan. is a bit lame, yet has always been something I've wanted to do. Don't laugh......I've always wanted to swim with the manatees! I know I'm a dork, but they are my favorite animal and they usually are around the gulf from Jan-Mar. So I am currently looking into using my free one way flight there. At this point though, I'm not even sure if I can use the free flight in Jan. I am totally open to other good places that would be fun to go to for a short weekend. Any ideas?

On a completely different note, I think I might go get a mono test. I've had no energy lately. To the point where I can't even workout (and if you know me, I'm use to working out at least 2 times a day!). If I can't workout then you know somethings wrong, because I never skip workouts! I'll keep you updated. I think it's just from lack of sleep, but my mom is insistent that I go get it checked out.

Sept. 20, 2003

6 years ago...

* I remember the 1st 3 weeks of college and having my discipleship leader pray this verse over me: "For my grace is sufficient for you, Ang. For my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast more gladly about my weaknesses, for when I am weak then I am strong." God had begun to prepare my heart already.......

* I remember the exact motion in the air and bailing out of a double flip and landing flat on my back.

*I remember trying to get up my body wasn't responding and I remember seeing my legs turned out

*I remember looking up at one of the coaches and telling him that I new I was paralyzed.

*I remember telling the paramedics to take off my tramp shoes, but they told me they already were, I just couldn't feel my legs.

*I remember leaving the gym in stretcher and looking up to see the parents all leaning over the balcony to wave goodbye to me.

* I remember the ride in the ambulance with my coach. The lights were turned on and we were moving fast. I talked with the paramedic about life at Taylor (clearly trying to distract my thoughts).

* I remember being taken to ER only to find out that the Dr. on duty was a church friend (God's reminder that he was with me)

* I remember my mom causally walking in with her diet coke (she had no idea the severity yet) and having not cried up to this point I completely lost it like a baby when I saw her.

* I remember them taking a needle and poking me and asking me if I could feel anything. To which I said no.

* I remember starting to have a bit of anxiety in the MRI machine, only to have them take me out and tell me that I had a small piece of medal in my pony tail holder and they had to redo it.

*I remember the neurosurgeon coming in and showing me the xray and seeing the broken bones and the spinal cord that had been partially severed

*I remember the neurosurgeon pulling on my big toe (this is about 2 hours after accident) and I shouted "I can feel that!" I remember her smiling and saying that's good news.

*I remember the other neurosurgeon coming in and saying that I would need surgery to have a bone fusion and screws/rods put in to stabilize my back.

*I remember the first question my mom asked the neurosurgeon "Will she still be able to try out for the National Team in a few months?" (denial still) To which the neurosurgeon looked at her and said, "She will never do gymnastics again. She only has maybe a 30% chance of walking again and that's with assistive devices."

*I remember calling my college hours after it happened, only to find out that the news had spread so fast that they already knew about it and were in the process of praying right there for me.

*I remember my brother taking the Peoria Charter bus home just to get to me.

*I remember having 4 pastors (high school, college, grade school pastor, and hospital) all pray over me.

*I remember my entire college wing come visit me the day after it happened (I had only known them for 3 weeks)

* I remember the hundreds of visitors I had come see me.

*I remember over 30 flower arrangements coming to my hospital room within hours.

*I remember my mom giving up her job to spend months helping me rehab.

*I remember rolling down the long hall and turning the corner and waving bye to mom and dad before surgery.

* I remember the Rehab. Institute of Chicago and all wonderful therapist. I remember going to bed every night looking up at the Hancock building

*I remember trying to use a wheelchair and how hard it was

* I remember the first day my big toe moved and was actually a movement I was controlling and not a spasm.

*I remember.....................

I could go over forever with this list, but 6 years later this is what I remember the most......

*GOD IS, WAS, AND WILL ALWAYS BE A FAITHFUL GOD

I've lived through much and have had ups and downs in 6 years, but at the end of the day I have to believe that I worship and love a God who has complete control of my life and who did not take away my ability to walk, but rather gave me a new sense of who He is and who I need to model my life after.

"Now, unto Him who is able to immeasurably more than I ask or imagine, be the glory for ever and ever."

Homework Assignment

So this past weekend was opening weekend of NFL. I like many people cannot wait for this weekend! So I made an extra credit assignment for my kids at school. They had to look up the scores of different games and then find the difference between the two scores (math activity). Then at the bottom I made a word problem. It said "If a team scored 28 points and they can score a touchdown=7pts, a field goal=3 pts, or a safety=2pts, then how many combinations of scores could they have made to equal 28points. Of course the boys loved it. My favorite part was a little boy wrote me this note on the back of his paper and it made my day!!!!!!

It says, "Miss Boline, next time you do this could you please make 2 point conversions so that I can come up with more combinations? Thanks, Go Bears!

Labor Day

This past weekend I got to go up to Chicago to see my wonderful friend Laura. Let me just say, that it was exactly what I needed. I got to go to church with her (and actually sit by people I know), we went to Panara and graded papers together, and then later we went to a cookout and socialized with some great people that I had never met before.

As I was driving home, I couldn't help but think and be reminded of how life was created for us to live like that. To live in community with others. It wasn't the most adventerous or event filled day, but it was a day that I got to spend with others (oh and did I mentioned I got to travel to Chicago?) :) After working so hard for two weeks, yesterday reminded me that you can throw your life into something and work so hard at it, but at the end of the day it's not about how hard you worked at something....it's about the time you spent with others that really matters.

Sweet Treats

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up."

Well, my friends sure are good at doing just that....encouraging and building me up. :) Sometimes all you need is a verbal encouragment, but other times it may be a sweet treat that will encourage others and that's exactly what I got this week!

This week I got two great packages in the mail from friends! The first package was box of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. The next day I got another package from another friend and she mailed me an entire cookie cake. Boy do my friends know me well. Nothing like some sweet treats to make a long week go faster! :)

1st Week of Teaching

Well, the first week of teaching went pretty well. I haven't gone crazy yet. :) Kids were good. We will see how it lasts! Their teacher on the other hand is extremely tired. I am an early to bed and early to rise person, but this week the earliest I have gone to bed is 11pm....and I still got up at the normal time (4:55am). Hopefully, routine will set in soon and it will get easier. The classroom does look cute though!

A Picture of my Current Life

A picture's worth 1000 words right? Instead of me telling you about my life at this moment, let me just show you this picture. No, I'm not preparing for the next Y2K. If you know me, you know that I never sit down to eat. I'm always on the go and usually I will take something off the shelf to eat in the car on the way to my next thing. Usually dinner will consist of cereal, but if that's not feasible then I usually grab a box of Cheeze-It's and peanut butter. So basically, considering I'm starting teaching this week, I will have no life and I'm stocked up on quick dinners for the next few month (ok, ok....we all know I don't eat "normal" meals.) Welcome to the world of teaching Ang.....


Oh, and yes there are 20 boxes there.....really, I got 20 boxes because they were on sale for 50 cents each....what a deal.

Boating

You wish you could do that too! :)

This weekend we finally got to take the boat out! Been such a busy summer that we haven't used it much. It was a great end to summer though!

Lake Michigan

This weekend three of my best friends and I got together at Lake Michigan. I had been looking forward to this weekend for a long time. My heart needed to see them. I wish I could explain the bond between all of us, but I can't. These girls are closer than sisters to me. I hadn't seen KAtie in a year since she is living in Thailand, but she was home for a month and made the trip. As much as I was looking forward to the time together, my heart is always hesitant at first. I love the time spent together so much, but know that it will end. Distance among loved ones is painful.
You know what I love about my friends.....it's that they are intentional. When we are together we get to the heart of matters. We help each other dig deep into where we are in life. That's been the hardest transition out of college these past two years....finding friends who are intentional about reaching out to each other and loving/serving Jesus together.
What this weekend really did for me though, was give me a glimpse of heaven on earth. All day Sat. and Sun. we sat on a gorgeous beach with gorgeous weather and just talked and laughed. For those hours together reminded me of what heaven will be like. I know leaving them will be hard and I'll head back to a "normal" life of same ole same ole, but for those two days I was given a renewed sense of hope. Hope that one day I will spend the rest of my life with the best friends in the world in a back drop that is breathe taking.

Gary's Wedding

So the anticipation all year long is over now.....my how quickly we plan for a day only to have it come and go so quick. I will say though that Gary's wedding day was spectacular. It was gorgeous in every way. The weather was a little cool for July and it was a little overcast, but it never rained. Weddings are always fun, but when it's for your twin brother and you know all the people at the wedding, it makes it extra exciting. My favorite part of the wedding was standing up with the bridesmaids and since Gary was looking towards the girls I could see his face the entire time. There were a few times where he looked over at me during the service and without saying anything that twin bond was there and we knew how the other felt and the love that was there.

Maybe it's a twin thing or maybe it's the fact that he is my only brother....but I knew that this wedding was going to take a lot out of me. I am totally a quality time person. I love spending one on one time with people and making memories with people. Prior to this wedding my heart had become so jealous. It became jealous at the fact that someone else besides me would now have more quality time with my brother. It seems like I rarely see him and having him get married and become a part of someone else's family only made me jealous....and maybe even a little bitter at times. I had to pray so hard that the Lord would change this jealous heart to gladness. My brother will always only have one twin sister....I am not being replaced. The Lord had to remind through this wedding that He does not take away.......He only gives......and so the best part of this wedding was that the Lord gave me a new friend and sister-in-law in Julie. Welcome to the family Julie. :)

Unique

Today something really funny happened. If you know me, you know that when I sing a song in the car I always sing the next lyrics before the singer does. Half the time I don't even realize it. Well today, I was driving my babysitting kids in the car and the little girl says "Ang, why do you sing the lyrics before the singer does....cause usually you get the lyrics wrong...maybe you should just sing along." LOL! It was so funny! It's something that makes me so unique. I guess you will just have to go on a road trip with me to experience it yourself if you haven't already! :)

Chicago

My mom, Jack, and I all took a day trip up to Chicago. We started our morning out at the Swedish Bakery where we bought way too many delicious coffee cakes. Then we went to the Cubs/Brewers game. This was my first time actually going to a game. I was SO excited. We had great seats right in front of 3rd base. The weather was perfect! All the guys were warming up right in front of us, so I got some great pictures. Unfortunately, my camera's memory card has issues and so a lot of my pictures I can't get off of the card. :( The CUBS won in the bottom of the 10th inning with the bases loaded and the other pitcher walked the batter.

After the game, we rode bikes on Lake Shore (my favorite place ever!) and rode to the Cheesecake Factory. I couldn't decided what to get so I ordered not just one piece, but two! AHH! Then after that we went to the Hershey's store. After the Hershey's store we rode to Navy Pier and watched all the fireworks downtown. Let me just say, having a bike is the easiest way to get around in Chicago. It was such a great day! It pretty much had my name written all over it.

Live without Regret

This week has been one of the hardest weeks I've had in a long time. For the first time in my life I felt like I had a clear direction on what the next step in my life should be and I acted on it. The only problem was that it was too late. Too late. Now, I have to live with the regret that I didn't act sooner. To love something so much and not be able to have it is the worst feeling in the world. Regret and what ifs will plague me for a long time to come. Admist the anguish that I have now, I have to once again trust that the Lord knows best and that I do not. It's just a hurt that may never go away......

Yet in the present suffering, there is a lesson to be learned: Let love never leave you. Open your heart to love full well knowing that you could get hurt...it will always be worth it. To not desire something is to kill your heart forever. Love with all your heart no matter what.

Bridal Shower

Cutting the Cake

Aunt Doris (the other hostess) and the love birds

The moms

The Hostesses

This past weekend, I was one of the hostess for a bridal shower for my brother's fiance, Julie. When I say hostess, what I really mean is that I made food for the shower. It was a great day so we had the shower outside. It's hard to believe that my twin brother will be married in a month.